I am alone but I am not lonely!

When I started writing this, my heart and mind waiting to burst! I haven't been writing for about 2 weeks. A lot of  things going on lately. Not that I am good in writing but I use this medium to pour out my thoughts and feelings. By the way, I was quite occupied for the past weeks. Of course with studies and social life. I may say I feel content and happy the way my life carries me now. A lot of events and invitations to be fulfilled but some has been turned down due to time constrain. Anyway, I had my agenda full especially weekends and you have to book me in advance in order to have me at your event (Soooo Dutch style!) Unless when I am free, InsyaAllah I will be there if nothing urgent falls in between.

 Present from Sinterklass

 Sinterklass Lunch and Exchange gifts

Pre-Xmas Dinner with Marie & Bru

2nd presentation of my thesis

Despite busy schedule as a student, I also need social life. Yes, I lived here alone but as I said before I am not lonely. I am pleased and grateful to have wonderful friends as part of my life here (you know who you are peeps!). I am a single wifey who has husband far far thousand miles away with 7 hours time difference and only connected by internet and phone. Well, thanks to technology but sometime it doesn't help!

But the point is, how do I survive? I do not know how to answer when people asked me that because I was away from my family since I was 13 and yet till now. Been away for 15 years alone and grew up most of the time with those people that I called 'friends'. That is how I survived especially for emotional support. For the past 15 years, I've met a lot of people. Making new friends, getting to know each other, meeting and bid goodbyes. Beyond races, nationalities, religions and skin colours. I feel grateful to have the chance to travel quite a lot around the world to meet all those people. Those people you can count as friends and maybe 'friends'.

Among people you've met, not all can 'fit' themselves to you. I agreed because you cannot be everybody's friends. Some of those just have different wavelength and some were nicely connected in the first 'attempt'. The ingredients and recipes for good relationship somehow not known. It is just that you knew it when you mingle with them. The true colours in the relationship only reveal once you get to know them. I bet you met various kind of those.

I did not say I am a good person either. Nor a very good friend to another. But one need to be good to others in order to be treated the same. But is there such a thing? As for me, I always remember my mom's wisdom advice ;"Buat baik berpada-pada" but never successfully practice it. One of my weakness that I inherited from my dad is that we always being nice to people and sometime people taking it for granted or advantage out of it. You met people only wanting you because of anything to do with their interest. People want to be your friend because of what you got, what you wear, how much money you have, and not to forget how beautiful you are. Even then, they never look at you who were ugly, penniless and for them old fashion and 'kampung' which is not cool to be around with. Other than that, those people want to hang on you just that they could use you for anything you thought it was just a help in the name of a friend. Sometime people that never say 'hi' for few years just pop up into your life just because of who you are right now. One of my bestie point this out in her FB which gave such a 'pang' to God-knows-who think they are. I like it to the max and I guess those people should feel ashamed of themselves.

At most time, I failed to see which one is true friend or true enemy until I badly hurt. Sometime it  revealed right to my face and yet I still could not see it. In a relationship, it always 'Takes 2 to Tango'. Give and take. It is not like 'what you give you get back' but just to have the feeling that you were being appreciated from what you've done to the next party. A simple 'thanks' is sometime good enough to appreciate others. Or even by thinking how dedicated the other party with the effort in making the best for you is simply honourable. It is thought that counts. Not any gift nor money could repay the sweat and endeavour one ever devote it to you. So, do appreciate people around you who value you the most in their life because some time before you realize, it was already too late.

It always balance in life, as nature does. Like day give its way to night, Spring to Summer and Autumn to Winter.....